Saturday, October 18, 2014

way too long ...

it has been a very very long time since i last wrote here... been writing on instagram lately ...more like uploading my pics there ... i have not been writing 'cause i've been sad, mad and my world was falling apart ...

Now i'm back, stronger, bolder and looking forward into the next chapter of my life.... building my new world alone or perhaps with someone new ... perhaps ... started dating again and i do hope to fall in LOVE again .... but one thing for sure is that i have a  new LOVE .... GYM !!! LOL ... can't believe it right, it is the only place at the moment where i have fun, lots of fun .... i've finally got that body that i've always wanted .... not quite there yet but getting better each day ....

Gym is where i let go my anger, sadness, pain, disappointment and all that are negative in my life ...building a new life after been torn apart wasn't easy at all .... it was bloody difficult but i almost made it ... made it to the finishing line ... letting go and moving on ....

i may be in a relationship again or i may not be ... it still matter ...  i am looking for the ONE ...

I was very lucky for the supports i've received from family and friends ... without them i'll be nothing, i could have been lost .....

it was a long and painful ride for me .... looking back, i never thought that i could do it ... be in the position that i'm in now and being happy again ... well almost .....

Didn't we almost have it all ???????

To my new life, let's celebrate all the things that matter .....

Everything happens for a reason and let the reason be LOVE

To all you people out there who are going through what i've gone through .... Be BRAVE ... be very brave ... you will see the light at the end of the tunnel .... though everything seems impossible now ...keep fighting ... only you can change it ... only you yourself can make the difference ... TRUST yourself ... be Positive .... no one can can do it for you except you ... no one can change your life except you .... BE STRONG ... BE A PHOENIX ......

LOVE always

Tuesday, March 04, 2014

i'm angry and sad ....

I'm angry 'cause you've decided to cut all connections with me ... suddenly you are not answering my call nor my message ... this happened out of sudden ... I have no idea why ?!!
I'm angry for all the things that you did to me ... the lies, the cheat and all of the empty promises ...
One day you will know what is it like being hurt again and again ...
you've said that that when it happens, you will have to accept the karma but do you have any idea how much is the pain ??!! try it once ... I urge you ... to try it ... feel it ...

I'm sad 'cause after all that we went through, you have decided that things should go this way ...
I guess that you are just another asshole ... whom look nice and pleasant on the outside but cruel inside .... you are just a bad person with an ugly heart ...

Damn you and that guy ... two years meant nothing to you ...

I wish you nothing ....

Nothing at all ....


 

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

lost at times .... just lost ...

    The last photo together ...

i really don't know what to do with myself ...
the more i try to avoid him the more i miss him ...
been more than 03 months now ...
deep inside me still hoping that someday we'll be back together ... sooner ...
this could be a true LOVE ...
am basically moved on with my life but the heart department still hasn't ...
missing him day and night though I've finally have the guts to call him and talk ...
he was quiet ... probably feelings the same too ....
probably ... I'm not quite sure if i should go and find him ...
maybe by talking face to face would settle things or issues between us ...
maybe if he sees me in person he would change his mind ...
maybe ... i don't wanna continue being like this ...
sad ... feeling alone and wanting him soooooo bad ...
i just done know what to do ... been praying, though god hasn't answer my prayer ...
if only i know what to do with this feelings, what actions to take to win him bad ..
I'm just so confused ... i just don't know ... don't know when will this ends ...
so many questions ... wish i know the answers ..
i might ended up being crazy or ... getting lost in this ..
i don't know where to hide ... where to go .. what to do ...
i want you !!!
i miss us ...
i'm sorry ...
let's start it all over again ...