I'm still in pain ....
The fact that he's denying that the guy is Ken and even telling me that i got a wrong guy ...
Evidence on Path clearly shown that he is with that guy ....
Spending most time together and expressing feelings of being love in public
He totally ignore me, not contacting me and all ....
He clearly has moved on ... Why am I feeling this way ....
As much as I want him to be happy, I still miss him in my life ... A lot ....
Perhaps one day he will know how I feel inside .... He will know what I had to go through and how much it hurts ... I've never been hurt this way ..... Ever .....
Maybe god has plan for me but whatever the plan is, I felt that I couldn't continue anymore...
I wanna cry but I can't, I wann die but I have responsibilities .....
How to start work after this .... Why are you doing this to me... To hurt someone you love so much .... Someone whom you used to love and cared so much ... Someone whom you cannot live without ....
Kenapa? .......

been a long time ...

it's true when people said that you will start to write again when something hits you.

in my case this is so true. I need a place to pour what I feel inside ...
well for starts, I've left AAX and will be going back to AK.

broke off with my by of 2 years and this all happened when my birthday is coming ...
sad hah .... well and the story  goes ...

the part where he didn't feel for me anymore, the part where he cheated once on me were all forgiven ... why ? 'cause I still want him in my life ...

but for now, am just gonna leave him alone until he misses me and wanting me back.
though too many questions about why this all happened and what had gone wrong?
why cheat? why no feelings anymore.... I know the fact that 2nd year is the hardest ...
need to survive this and am pretty sure it will be fine after that ...

at the same time, still worried that someone will take him and offer him love ...
LIBRA can't never resist love and care when someone offer it to them ...
I hope that this will be ended soon ..

I pretty much have mistakes as well, not being able to cater him, having fun "outside" ....
It was all because of my own insecurities ...

it was a crazy thinking that if one day he leaves me, I would still have some fling to fall into ....
NOT supposed to do this ...
Don't even know how to continue my life without him ....

the house that we built together, the families, the friends ... everything will be different now ....
EVRYTHING .... I truly don't welcome this ....