oh nooo.....

u see my schedule is bz as always .... i have no idea why i kept neglecting this blog of mine ...
work has been good but me being a typical Sagittarius always wanted something new ... perhaps a change in career next year ... perhaps ... none the less i've been enjoying the time of my life ... from Japan to paris and all over the globe ... my life has been nothing but fun fun fun ... that's the i wanted my life to be ... keep on exploring new horizons and new frontiers ... age is catching up and i'm gonna be 35 soon .... but before that happens am gonna head to Bali ... it has been a while since i last been there ....Bali used to be my fave place in the world before i discovered Bangkok ... which is at the moment i'm feeling so sad with the flood situation over there ... i really hope that things will get better ... as Kylie said and sings ... better tomorrow .... so Bali here i come ... there's so much to write yet i 've been avoiding to write it over here ... oh Love.... is something that i been longing for yet i couldn't find it .... keep searching rain ...keep searching .... ok bye bye boys .... fatty gotta go .... urrrggghhhh i'm still FAT !!!

half way there ...

so ok i'm so so so guilty yet again for not being able to write on this blog.

So where have i left you guys ... hmmmm ...

so i had a nose job ... yes finally wohoooo !!!! so what's to fix next ...

my brain i guess... not working properly recently ... ugghhhh ....

am looking at other options in life ... feel like trying something new ...

i'll be 35 Y.O. by December ...not a good number ... i may have another 5 good years to enjoy

life ... people do say that life begins at 40 but hey i don't wanna grow old ... not so soon ... so i shall look for all options to stay young ... ohh am still single after all that drama in my life ... i've not been going out that much after i got my nose did ... hmmm time to go out and mingle, maybe after i loose another 5 stone of FAT !!! hahaha not been working out or dieting for a while but hey not to late to start either ... ohhh and i miss partying in BKK ... i miss BKK ... the city, the clubs & the people ... 2 of my crew resigning again ... so to Am and Zet ... good luck buddies ... Zeth was so supportive when it comes to getting a nose job ... Thanks for all the encouragements Zeth .. hope you find what you are looking for in BKK ... well life goes on ..... rite ???

What should i look for in life ? a fresh starts somewhere outside the country ... is there a way for me to get a job in BKK ? anyone knows about it ? tell me tell me ...

well that's all i guess .. for now and only God knows when will i be writing again ....

Ciao !!!!

what is the answer ?

HOW DO I LOOK ?

gosh ... there were so many things that i wanted to write about .... so here goes... U guys were fully aware that i was in in Delhi for a few days doing recruitment. It was another experience for me ... and guess what? more guys turned up for the interview rather than girls ... and off course a couple of cute ones ...ohhh yes and Delhi ... hmm the food was yum yum yum ... i was from Penang so i am very into Indian food.... the Briyani, Nan and Curry was out of this world ... truly amazing ...

the not so good part was i had argument ... not really argument ... misunderstanding with my best friend/colleague/buddy ... normally i was ok with everything but that day in plane... i lost my temper ... i left my seat just to calm myself ... but honestly i miss him ... i miss his companionship ... i haven't met him since that day as i was away to Bangkok ... but we've made up over "whatsapp" ... so Carrie as in Bradshaw was right after all ... there are all kinds of LOVE in this world ... it was not love as in Lovers but a special kind of Love .. sometimes when you are very close with someone you don't cover your true self ... you are so comfortable that you tend to show all aspects of your emotions ... so am really hoping that things will get better between the two of us ... i do ... if you happen to read this ( which i doubt ) i love you my dear friend ... and then there's Bangkok and songkran ... it was not as good as the previous years but was worth it ... i've rebuilt my relationship with my ex ... the only person that truly understands me and still being by my side after all these years ... though last year Songkran i had a fight with him as he brought his then boyfriend to Bangkok during Songkran ... will we be together again ... i don't know ... Aspa once told me that i must not be the typical Sagittarius ... only regret after i've lost what i care most ... when it was too late to tell ... too late to confess .. too late to show my emotions ... so i'm gonna take a wild card in my life and i'm gonna take chances ... from now on ... and i did ... so far ... Maybe next year am not gonna be in Bangkok but will be in Chiang mai .. heard that it is better to celebrate Songkran there ... so i'll be heading there next year .... and thanks Dej and Zeth for your warm hospitality when i was in Bangkok ... and the party at Otoko was fantastic ... what a great K-pop experience !!! and then there's a story about Peter as in Peter Han ... i have no clue if i would be taking the serious road with him ... i don't think that he is the committed type of guy .... perhaps just and FB or a re bounced guy ... i don't know but yes i did like him a lot a one point ... so am gonna continue to date everyone that comes until i find the right guy ... and then ... back to work ... have lost touch for over a week and so am trying to put my head together and to excel at work ... but as for today and tomorrow ... there's recurrent pass in which i must score a 100 % ... phew ... so please wish me good luck guys !!! am signing off now as i need to study for tomorrow's exam ... nites all and keep dancing 'till the world ends .... :)

turning point...

note to self ... to learn to let go ... to find time/make time to meet friends on a weekly basis... to bring mum out for dinner on a weekly basis .. to be happy ... to take a chance... to fall in LOVE again ... to trust others ............ this weekend has been all good for me, had dinner withe Peter (my new man) and James. It has been a while since i last met James ... we even had lunch today as a follow up to last nite dinner ... and i've introduced him to Peter ... Peter Han ... OK ... all seems good at this point and to finally meet someone i really like from looks to everything is just WOW !!! i've also managed to watch the movie eat, pray, love ... which was amazing ... my X Jeff asked me to watch it and i did ... it reminds me of Bali ... and the fact that i haven't been there for ages ... i used to go to Bali a lot ... maybe i should reduce my trip to BKK on monthly basis and revert to Bali instead ... hmmm ... back to the movie ... i love Julia Roberts ... remember Pretty Women? love it ... eat, pray, love is like providing me the answer to what i've been looking for ... i've been searching for the same answer for years ... and i've found it ... i'm so glad that i finally did ... On another note ... i'll be leaving to Delhi next thursday for five days and then to BKK for another week... i kind a reconsidering not to go to BKK ... am gonna miss Peter ... away from him for two weeks is something that i'm not looking foward to ... it's too early to admit that i'm really into him but i know that i'm headding somewhere with him ... he was asking me to go Penang with him ... after the Songkran ... so Yes was my answer to him ... Posh :- to Songkran or not ? plans have been made and maybe i should shorten the trip ...

woohooooo !!!

am back ... alive and kickin' ...that's all ... nothing can stop me ....

there was a conflict between me and you but someday you'll understand ...

oh well.... move on GAGA ... haven't i told you that i have a new nick name, courtesy of Alvin Koh and made popular by Suhaila, Terry, Aspa and Eyon ... only Farhana still call me Madge :)
hahah..... funny how everyone starts to call me with that name ...

one of the crew asked my colleague; "there's a new FAE by the name Gaga" ... she said nothing ... and laugh .... LOL !!!

after all the drama for about a week ... it finally ended with me being stronger and better !!! yay !!!

hapy happy happy !!!!

how could an angle break my heart...

after much not so good feeling last week ... i've finally found out the reason why ... another heart breaking moment.... i thought that i've built enough walls and fences to protect my heart ... but i was totally wrong ... it hits me again ... kind a bad this time ... don't know what to say ... thanks to all who stood up by me ... i hate this part right here ... but like most people said time heals and tells ...

not a place to be ....

time check ... 0123 am ... am still not sleeping and don't know what to do ... am trying to pull myself together and finish all of my work but unable to think or do anything ... have no idea on what phase am going through right now ... am not here nor there ... don't feel like anything ... not sure what i want ... maybe resigning is all i need ... or a damn long break ... just got back from Japan again ... a long trip where i was suppossed to relax and finish all of my work but failed to do so ... i have no idea why ... am going insane .... i really don't know what to do ... is there any medications for this ... have no idea too !!! help !! S.O.S. !!!!!!!!!!!

what the hell is wrong with me !!!!! if this continues by end of this week ... am gonna do big changes to my career ... resigning ... 3 months notice or maybe 24 hours ...

back to japan ....

right after i came back from Cairo, i went to Haneda over in Japan ... though i was tired but i insisted on going to Japan ... reason being ... scared next time has no more chance going there again ... guess what am going there again in early March ... donzi !!!!

anyway ... just enjoy the photos i've taken with my new camera ok...

Posh:-

excessive shopping this month, got a new lap top, new camera, i phone and an i pad ..... phew !!!!

cairo ...egypt

well ... i was lucky enough to be part of the team involved in rescuing Malaysians from Egypt. the long hours, the drama and the turn around flight that ended up being a five days trip will forever be in my head ... how could i forget it ... did you guys catch me on telly ??? haha

being a flight attendant and being able to give back to fellow Malaysians .... i just can't describe the feelings ... it was good when you were given an opportunity to give ....

met wonderful people throughout the journey ... just take a look at the pics ...

too gone .. too soon

it's kind a sad .. to talk about it .. to remember the good times ... to put a picture here ... it's just so so sad ... just wondering why ? to say goodbye so soon ... could have been mine ... my goodbye ...

on another note, i've just got back from my bkk new year trip ... and haneda in Japan ... no words 'cause am not in the mood, just pictures to share ...