.......

there's something about autumn that spells LONELINESS ... as what i'm feeling at this moment ... can't cure i guess.. no cure for that ... but it's a state of mind therefore i choose to be happy ... so being happy i shall be ...

am kind a keep myself busy with work and my fashion line which is materialising as i'm writing this post ... i'm kind a not sure what to do .. this is supposed to be a great year for ... perhaps in other field i guess ...

am doing another final interview tomorrow, in hopes of looking for a new breed of FA ....

yeah whatever ....

ever after ....

since i got back from BKK, was feeling all down and depress again .. so what's the best way to move on ... get busy with work ... yep that's the way its gotta be ... i'm so not in the mood for anything .. thinking of going to the office in a while though i'm supposed to be still on leave but what the hell ... so many things to settle down plus all the work that i've gotta prepared for before starting my office madness marathon ...

on the other note, BITTEN is coming alive ... so many details gotta go through ... done with the concept and designs that i want, just the business dealing part, so much work but gotta be fun ... gonna start this at a very small scale ... 'cause i'm new hence not having any experience in the fashion industry ...

all by myself, am gonna go through this shit though it's again and again ... but hey that' s life for me ... it's hard but there's no way to stop ... and this time i'm not gonna run somewhere else and starting everything new... as i said, some people just stuck with you for the rest of your life... in my case it's Jeff. I can't run from him and neither can he ... we are just gonna stuck with each other yet won't be able to be together ,we know that it wouldn't be working ...

as i'm trying to comfort myself going through this difficult moment both at work and personal life, i shall not fail at it .. i hope this is just another phase of my life that i have no choice but to go through with it ....

hey take a look at my BKK picture kay ...

still.....

who would have thought that after all these years... it still hurts ....

here i am in bkk ... thinking of having fun and put my head together before going back to the office... now that is all gone....

my ex is here with me at the same hotel and he's with someone..

so called his house mate for the past 3 years which is off course i've found it from his so called house mate ...

him having a house mate and only two of them stayed together ... hmmm big, huge question ...

i thought that my heart has gone buffed and stronger over the years ...

it failed me.... big time

i keep asking myself ... is that his house mate or what ... i've asked him and being a typical him... he didn't give an answer..

he was the reason why i almost cancel this trip ....

it still hurts ...

why do i feel this way ... i can't be me ...

maybe will cut this trip shorter ....

doesn't he knows that i'm hurt...

so not me .... i'm down... yet again and again ...

life chapter 2 ...

i've just got back from London and the trip was fun, fun and fun ...

felt tired as i couldn't sleep at all when i was there plus i've not been flying for quite a while... long haul i mean ... the trip definitely encouraged me to fly back ... a haaa honey bee ... i'm considering it seriously ... did a little bit of shopping ... a little ... take note on that ...

on another note, i'm afraid that i'll be cancelling my BKK trip as situations there is unsafe... riots are everywhere and people killing each other ... worst than the last year riots which was also during SONGKRAN ... there goes my holiday ... so no water festival for me this year ...

What makes me upset is that why are people go against each other in such manner ... Thai tourism is loosing millions of dollars for the last couple of years.... it all happened during peak season/water festival ... why ? hope they will learn from Malaysian that riots is definitely NOT a solution... see what happened to some Malaysian .. loosing jobs and getting injured for nothing... though Malaysian only had "mini" riots ... 'cause no one died but the impact on economy took some time to recover ...

come on people of Thai, we love going to BKK and personally it's my rehab place. Don't destroy it, no one will gain but only loosing .... STOP at once ...

Is this human rights or an act of stupidity ???

posh:- wish i had a transformer robot to save the world ... thoughts !!!