woohooooo !!!

am back ... alive and kickin' ...that's all ... nothing can stop me ....

there was a conflict between me and you but someday you'll understand ...

oh well.... move on GAGA ... haven't i told you that i have a new nick name, courtesy of Alvin Koh and made popular by Suhaila, Terry, Aspa and Eyon ... only Farhana still call me Madge :)
hahah..... funny how everyone starts to call me with that name ...

one of the crew asked my colleague; "there's a new FAE by the name Gaga" ... she said nothing ... and laugh .... LOL !!!

after all the drama for about a week ... it finally ended with me being stronger and better !!! yay !!!

hapy happy happy !!!!

how could an angle break my heart...

after much not so good feeling last week ... i've finally found out the reason why ... another heart breaking moment.... i thought that i've built enough walls and fences to protect my heart ... but i was totally wrong ... it hits me again ... kind a bad this time ... don't know what to say ... thanks to all who stood up by me ... i hate this part right here ... but like most people said time heals and tells ...

not a place to be ....

time check ... 0123 am ... am still not sleeping and don't know what to do ... am trying to pull myself together and finish all of my work but unable to think or do anything ... have no idea on what phase am going through right now ... am not here nor there ... don't feel like anything ... not sure what i want ... maybe resigning is all i need ... or a damn long break ... just got back from Japan again ... a long trip where i was suppossed to relax and finish all of my work but failed to do so ... i have no idea why ... am going insane .... i really don't know what to do ... is there any medications for this ... have no idea too !!! help !! S.O.S. !!!!!!!!!!!

what the hell is wrong with me !!!!! if this continues by end of this week ... am gonna do big changes to my career ... resigning ... 3 months notice or maybe 24 hours ...

back to japan ....

right after i came back from Cairo, i went to Haneda over in Japan ... though i was tired but i insisted on going to Japan ... reason being ... scared next time has no more chance going there again ... guess what am going there again in early March ... donzi !!!!

anyway ... just enjoy the photos i've taken with my new camera ok...

Posh:-

excessive shopping this month, got a new lap top, new camera, i phone and an i pad ..... phew !!!!

cairo ...egypt

well ... i was lucky enough to be part of the team involved in rescuing Malaysians from Egypt. the long hours, the drama and the turn around flight that ended up being a five days trip will forever be in my head ... how could i forget it ... did you guys catch me on telly ??? haha

being a flight attendant and being able to give back to fellow Malaysians .... i just can't describe the feelings ... it was good when you were given an opportunity to give ....

met wonderful people throughout the journey ... just take a look at the pics ...

too gone .. too soon

it's kind a sad .. to talk about it .. to remember the good times ... to put a picture here ... it's just so so sad ... just wondering why ? to say goodbye so soon ... could have been mine ... my goodbye ...

on another note, i've just got back from my bkk new year trip ... and haneda in Japan ... no words 'cause am not in the mood, just pictures to share ...

until when ?

i'm fucking tired right now and almost going crazy .... my last 3 days were crazy .. i don't even think that crazy is right ... maybe turbulence ... maybe .. yeah so so right ... i had never experienced what i had gone through for the last 3 days ... like NEVER in my flying career ... shit happens and it hit me this time .. FUCK !!! am considering another option at the moment ... can't even think.. system down .. brain damaged ... heart ..... never mind about heart ... i don't have any ...

forget about what i've been through.. let's talk about something better and more positive ( trying to be Big O here - Oprah that is) am going BKK for one night only trip ... just to celebrate my new year with my X ... duh !!! 'cause no one else ask me ... then off to HND - Haneda ... as in Tokyo, Japan .. get it ? working trip ... duh again !!! what positive ? nothing positive here as i am having another meltdown moment ... or days ... will my 2012 be like this ?

Oh ok ... SPICE dinner with the boys was awesome and FABS !!! after many great years of being friends ... we are still the same ... except that everyone is getting fat ... !!! haha time to hit the gym guys ... photos ? welll have to wait for the guys to update their FB ... then i shall put some here kay ...

OK .. i'm signing off for now, gonna off my hp and the hell with the world ..I 'M TIRED !!!!! fuck you, you and you !!!!

no no no ... not u readers .... just an anger management ...

another journey

i'm not feeling well at all as i'm writing this entry to you lots ... my body system is down with fever and severe headache ... migraine that is ... haven't been hit this bad after quite a while ... nausea and vomiting comes naturally ... hehehe ..... if i'm still not doing good, i'll be heading to the clinic again later today ... not a good feeling at all ...

i've just got back from Tehran in Iran couple of days ago ... the trip was so so ... weather was cold and there was no food to eat ... well literally ... stayed there for almost a week.. a long stay in other places i would have said yay !!! but in Tehran ... errrr ... maybe no more ... thank you very much ..

however, am still gonna share some pics which i've taken for you lots ... arrived in Theran on public holiday, which means for the next two days, there were no shops opened hence no food to eat ... on another note, looking for rice could be quite an adventure ...hahah ... yes it was ... indeed .... some of us may think that Iran could be conservative .. u guys know what ? they are not ... though the ladies are all covered with "tudung" (a piece of cloth to cover head), they are allowed to show a bit of hair and mind you, they coloured their hair. They were always seen in full make up in which off course enhanced their good looks. If they are allowed to enter "miss universe", surely they will win .. u can also find couples dating at the park ... not quite sure if they are married ... i guess they are very much influenced by the Europeans 'cause Iran is not that far from the Europeans blocks ... ohhh yes, if you the chance to visit Tehran, don't forget to visit the mountains.. all covered with snow and a good place to appreciate mother nature ...

Enough about Tehran, here comes the annual dinner, my X team had a performance and i was in drag ... OMG yet again ... this time around i have more confidence and more relax as to compared to my last "drag session" a year ago in BKK. The performance was well received by the audience as we did it differently from the rest ... check out photos i've uploaded for you guys ... ok seems like i can't write anymore ... i'm going clinic again as i'm feeling so so week now ... so guys please TC and i'll be writing again soonest

P/S ;- expect great stories from JAPAN ... Merry X'mas and Happy New Year ...

that 34 !!!

finally got a bit of time to chill .. this weekend has been nothing but relaxation ... got back from Jeddah again and celebrated my 34th B'day with my best friends... ohhh did i mentioned that they took me for a dinner ... nice one... i truly enjoyed the dinner and the laughter .. a small but meaningful way to celebrate my day ... ohhh and i've bought this little something something for myself courtesy of GUCCI.. not that they gave it to me for free but hey i've decided to reward myself ..

on another note i'm kind a scared of my age ... how long can i keep my youthful looks ..

age is surely catching up on me ... i need more and more sleep to recover from my hectic schedule ... kind a crazy at times but hey that's life and i've just got to live with it ....

it's coming to the end of the year and i'm hoping to have a good X-mas ...another Gucci perhaps ...

what do i want for next year ... a simple and more meaningful life ... i gave up on trying to have a steady boyfriend instead i shall continue having an open relationship ... the one that i'm in at the moment ... hmmm ... not quite sure if i should call it a relationship ... hehehe ... anyhow i'm happy 'cause i've decided to be happy ...

hoping for more Bangkok trip... try to be nice to all of my Xs ... and try to loose more weight ...

posh gotta be fab rite ?

for you guys i've got a few photos that am gonna share with u guys ... just to keep you lots entertained rather than reading about my not so entertaining life ...

am done with the cleaning up in my room and now am gonna clean my lap top ... rearrange some files and put everything in place...

OK people , i gotta go ... have a great life will ya !!!

where have u been?

just got back from Tianjin a couple of weeks ago with a couple of friends. The train ride, the monorail ride and lots of walking, bit of shopping and the cold weather ... i had peace of mind ... i love to travel 'cause it gives me a sense of freedom.. re-evaluate life and makes me think and appreciate life better ...

as i'm writing to you guys ... am packing up for my another trip to Jeddah .. hope to do some prayers and sight seeing .. hope for more than my last trip to Jeddah ..

where am i going next ? hmmmm ... Korea for that K-POP experience though today's news is not so good.. i'm hoping for the best .. i wonder where would the K-POP stars will live if things there are not safe anymore ... wait the minute .. they can come and stay at my house ... hehehe

oh .. and i'm hoping for a trip to Japan as well ...

which reminds me of my up coming B-DAY !!! i don't celebrate getting old but a little trip would do me good... hehehe ... thank you in advance BOSS !!!

gotta go to bed pretty soon so guys please enjoy the photos i've taken ...

posh:- what's my new image ?????